Monday Rant: The Know-It-All Expert -- NOT!

Recently a well-known shaving "expert" posted a comment in a well-known venue. His comment bugged me -- and I know: that's more my problem than his.

Still, it irritated like a bad shave.

To paraphrase, the thrust of his comment was that one can't call a shave good if there are any wounds (this would include, I presume, any weepers that disappear with a water rinse).

Maybe this is true -- FOR HIM.  Maybe his skin is well stuffed with sub-cutaneous fat like a salami. Maybe his skin is tough like saddle leather. Maybe it's smooth without dips, depressions, or prominences like a bowling ball. Who knows what classifies as good for him, except him; just like who knows what is a good shave for me, except me?

Actually, the FACT is that if I get an overall very close shave with little irritation save for some minor blood shed, that could be considered a very good shave for me given my skin and beard characteristics. It just prioritizes exceptional closeness (for me) a bit higher than the disappointment of minor wounds that might disappear with cool-water rinses.

There's an old native-American saying about not judging until you have walked a mile in another's moccasins. But I guess if you're an expert, you can skip the walk-a-mile part. (Eyes rolling in head.)

Since this "expert" must be psychic, I need to pose some other questions for which he, being an expert and all, might have some authoritative, expert-genius-type answers for me:

• What would be a good golf score for me at my favorite course given my athletic ability and the time I spend practicing?
• What would be a good waist size that I should shoot for if I choose to make another healthy adjustment to my lifestyle?
• What would be the good universities for my youngest child to attend?
• When I replace my current car, what would be a good choice for the next?
• Since I've changed my dietary regimen, what blood-test results should I consider good, that is, what should I consider a satisfactory improvement?

Wait, you mean the know-it-all expert can't answer these questions in any meaningful way? You mean he doesn't understand my local golf course, my golfing ability, or my practice routine? You mean he doesn't know what my waist size should be since he doesn't know anything about my height, weight, general body build, lifestyle, or exercise habits? You mean he doesn't know anything about my youngest child, my transportation needs, or my physiology?

But he's a self-proclaimed expert on shaving, right? So he must know everything about the factors and challenges of my shaves! He must know what is easy and difficult for me to achieve in my morning shaves. He must be familiar with my skin and beard characteristics; after all he's an expert on shaving, right?

Well, so he implies by making presumptuous statements.

But for sure there is one thing he doesn't seem to know. In the words of Dirty Harry (from the movie, Magnum Force), "A man's got to know his limitations."

Whew, thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better.

Happy shaving!